So, I FINALLY got an interview, from Blockbusters no less. I was kind of surprised because I applied there a month ago. I figure if they don't call you after a week they don't really want you, and as far as I knew they weren't actually hiring. But, oh well.

The only thing that annoys me is that my interview is scheduled for next tuesday, which means that's another week of me not working and another week of no monies. I just hope that I can get full-time hours. I'll be kind of pissed if they're like 'well...we can only give you like...10 hours a week', or something stupid like that. SRSLY PEOPLE, I HAVE NO LIFE. I CAN WORK ALL DAY! -claws at screen-

I have never wanted school to start more desperately than I do now. I've been off for two months, and I still have another two months to go and I'm dyyyying. They should have a summer semester, so people who want to graduate in four years, but don't want to take 5 courses a semester, can take courses during the summer.

On another note, the weather has been completely crappy. But of course, it's Stampede week and that always happens. And also July is our rainy season (usually because it doesn't stop snowing until May). I actually like the rain, but it hasn't really been raining. It's just been grey, cold, windy and depressing, and randomly thundering. With the occasional one minute of pouring rain that comes out of nowhere.

Apparently there's a tornado warning in effect too, which is always fun.

Rawr.

So, I've decided I'm never getting a haircut again, at least not one that costs 12 bucks, because it just isn't worth it. Lady cuts off like, ALL MY HAIR. And it was pretty long, now it's like, short, and nasty looking. I look like a twevle-year old. -mopes-

AND I still haven't gotten hired. Apparently I've been officially terminated from Sportchek, not like I care. I applied at Canadian Tire, and I know they're hiring, and they never called me. Three years of retail experience, and I can't even get a measy couple of hours in a retail job. Whateves! I'll sit here and do nothing, and hang with my super bad insomnia.

Ugh. I also think I'm going to die. I need to see a doctor, I think I have an infection or something, which is always fun. -grumbles- And my nephew is driving me NUTS! Kid does not know how to shut up. O.o

Oh well, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaatever. I need caffeine.

Terra Branford

Oh yes, I did. I think she's sexy.

Anyways, I need to try to get my ass to bed seeing as it's twenty to four and I have an appointment at 11 to chop my hair off, because it's too goddamn long, and it hates me.

Whispering Kisses of Butterflies

Excuse the cheese factor of the title, I couldn't think of anything better.

Anyways, so you can thank Morgan for this one because she was the one who convinced me to finished it, and I did after much bitching and whining on my part. I actually like it despite the sickening amount of butterfly metaphors, and the fact that it's about 200 words longer than I wanted to be. But after reading it on the site, it doesn't seem too long anymore. I find it always seems longer when you're writing it in word or something.

I want to try to get on revising some of my older stories, but that probably won't happen today seeing as it's twenty after 5am and I still haven't managed to sleep. I don't want to go to bed now because I probably won't wake up til 2 or some god awful time in the afternoon, which causes me more problems later, but I won't be able to function at all on zero sleep. Iunno, insomnia is le gay.

Also, I tried to post a new picture on dA, but it turned out blurry on my scanner and I was too lazy to go back downstairs and re-scan it. Maybe I'll do that later. It actually looks good, and it's not an elf, or a man :O! Shocking, I know.

Anyways, I may attempt to sleep. At the very least, I need to close my window because it's freaking cold outside. >.

Ah, so again I have been neglecting my dA alerts. I haven't really been drawing lately, but I have posted some photos I took outside of my door, as well as an old photoshop project that I did for art 20 waaaay back when, and changed the filter on. Yay! I'm still trying to find a job, but I hate sending out resumes. I think I've sent out about...maybe 10 in the past two days but there's not really any places hiring, and places that are hiring me don't want me because they think I'm too young.

Like it was funny yesterday, I went to this spa thing with my step mom at this lady's house who lives down the street, and the lady who brings the spa products though I was like, 14. And then I was talking to this other lady there, and I told her how I applied at the library and how they deal with all the resumes downtown, and she was all like "oh, well, they do their own hiring at each location for pages and stuff..." thing is...you have to be 14-17 to be a page. I'm 19. <.< So, that was fun when I went to the southwood branch today and asked them, and the lady asked me if it was for a page, and I said "for whatever you have", and then she asked me how old I was and then she was like "Oh, we hire adults through downtown. I thought you were younger." Christ, no wonder I always get ID'd.

Oh well, at least I won't have to worry about being one of those people who like 40 when they're only 25 or so. I applied at this flower place about two weeks ago, and I think the lady thought I was about 15 or so. Even people I worked with at sportchek thought I was younger. I remember this one time, around September or something, the hardgoods manager asked me something about seeing all my friends again now that school had started, like he thought I was still in highschool, and I told him I didn't really see my friends much because I go to Mount Royal, and we don't necessarily have classes at the same time, and he was like "oh..."

Anyways, enough of that. I'm hoping someone will actually hire me soon. I put in an application at Chapters, and they said they were actually hiring, so maybe I'll get lucky. The unfortunate thing is, they pay slightly above minimum wage (which like like 8.80/hr or something), and at Sportchek I was getting 10/hr (although, I should have been getting more seeing as I was there for two and a half years), but I get 30% off books, where is where most of my income goes anyways, so I'm not too concerned. I just need something to give me some money during the summer, anyways. I actually miss classes, I'm so bored. I want the fall semester to start. I'm taking Ancient Civilizations, and Shay's going to be in my class, I'm so freaking excited. Mmmm, ancient cultures are sexy. -drools-

Anyways, I've started writing a little random drabble for Death Note, that came to me last night out of the blue, so I'm going to try to finish it and post it. Hopefully, after that I can work on my FFIV drabbles. I wrote another one, or started one rather, but everytime I try to write a drabble for that series I hate it. I've already decided to scrap that other one I had, but I don't know. Whateves, devART is www.shadedrogue.deviantart.com, I'll try to do some more drawings too, or get out off my ass and take some pictures. I might take a walk by the reservoire, seeing as it's actually ZOMG HOT OUT, for once. A little bit too hot, but you can't please me with weather, so meh.

So, I finally got my lazy ass around to actually checking my marks, and I surprisingly did okay. It find it hilarious because I was worried about my GNED course because of the math (I actually did great on the math and not so great on the grade 8 science, mainly because I don't know, nor particularly care which fault line Vancouver runs on), and my history of ethnography course (because I couldn't be arsed to read the ethnographies), but it was actually philosophy that I did the worse on. Evidently, I am not so good at that whole abstract thinking course. But yeah, so my marks were B,B,B,C+,A-, in lingustic anthropology, history of ethnography, mathematical and scientific literacy, philosophy, and political science, respectively. Which is okay, but my GPA still dropped from a 3.3 to a 3.0, which is still good, but I need a 3.2 to be eligable for a scholarship based on how good my marks are. I'm hoping I can bring it back up next semester, and I'm only taking four courses for that purpose. It was definitely the philosophy that brought me down, though, because before that my lowest mark was a B-, which was from my english gned last semester. Hopefully, if I don't go below a B- next semester, I'll be okay.

It's good that I did manage to get a B in my history of ethnography course because I was pretty sure I'd either fail, or get a D, because I failed the midterm the first time. I think I got a 44%, but since pretty much everyone failed the exam (more because she likes to ask esoteric questions that had nothing to do with what she told us to study) she gave us an opportunity to redeem ourselves, so we got to reanswer one of the long questions that we did the worse on. I got a zero on the one asking about what the ambiguities of The Nuer were (I mistaked what she meant by ambiguous as being vague, rather than being misleading), so I redid that one and got full marks which raised the mark to 64% (still the lowest I have ever got on an exam (in university, my absolute lowest in general is probably 3% (seriously, I am bad at math)), by the way), and so I told myself that depending on what I got on the paper, I might drop the course, but then I did really good on the paper, so I didn't, and then I regretted it because I was having a hell of a time on my research project and bogged down with all these final projects and I didn't even buy Pigs for the Ancestors, let alone read it, nor did I read A Thrice-Told Tale, which were the two that the final exam was on. Well, I did read them, but that was the day before the exam. Seriously. I was looking at the outline she gave us and was thinking 'shit, I don't know the answers to anything of these, and I have to write this exam on friday' and I had my last four exams each day in a row, so I was trying to study for them, because I suck at retaining information, and most of my studying happens about 12 hours before the exam. So I was like, I need to get my ass in gear, but I was stressing out because I had rented Pigs for the Ancestors from the Mount Royal library, and it was the ONLY place in Calgary that had it for renting, right? There was one of the U of C, but it was unavaible because it was being re-binded, so I had it, but I never got a chance to read it, so I returned it because someone had it on hold, and they kept bugging me and as soon as I returned it, I went online and found out that there were questions on it, which wouldn't have been bad, but...see, I returned the book on april 21...my exam was on the 24th...and, well, the book was on hold for three days, which meant that...I couldn't get it again. So I was like 'shit, shit, shit' and thank god the person who put a hold out for it didn't come to pick it up and I went up there on the 23rd and begged them to let me look at it, and they let me borrow it for the day. So, I sat in the library from...let's see, I think my exam ended at 1:30, and I think I ate first. So, from about 2-9, and I found the answers to all the questions on the thing and studied the crap out of it. And theeen, I went home, ate supper, and then it was about 10:30 or 11 at that point because it takes me an hour to get home, and read A Thrice-Told Tale and answered all the questions for that, and that took me to about four in the morning. My exam was at 8am, which meant I had to be up at 6. So two hours of sleep, and then I wrote the exam. And I think the ONLY reason I passed that exam was because of my power studying the day before because I seriously had no idea before that. I still didn't know the answers to some questions though, because she asked a question about like...I don't even know...cultural materialism, I think it was, which was on a little sheet she gave us at the beginning of the semester that I didn't even look at (because I tend to do that, which always makes me wonder why I do okay).

Seriously, when it comes down to it, I am a horrible student. I should be failing left and right. I don't read my textbooks, I don't go over my notes, I don't really pay attention, I have a terrible memory, I finish my essays the night before (usually at like 3 in the morning), and I don't proof read them (usually because it's so late and at that point, I stop caring), I don't study unless it's the day before and depending on my mood and how late it is, I sometimes study half-assed, and then after I write the exams, I forget everything over again. >.< Just think, if I actually bothered to go over my notes and stuff and read my textbooks, I could probably get A+s and stuff. O.o I'm trying to make that my goal for next semester, but I think we all know that that probably won't happen. Although, when I stay at school, I tend to get more stuff done. Like, when I have projects due, I try to stay at the school and do it in their computer labs because I get less distracted. When I try to do them at home nothing gets done because I am extremely ADD. I'll type like a word, and then go do something else, the same thing happens when I try to write. Thing is, though, I like to rush to the bus as soon as classes end and go home, mainly because it takes me so long on transit. I need to find a more efficient way to write essays though, because it seriously takes me forever. ANYWAYS! Enough about school.

I need to go find a job. I've been doing some temp stuff with my mom, but, my mom drives me nuts. I was over there for a week and I almost killed myself, so I need to find something full time. I haven't heard back from the Red Cross, so I'm trying to send my resume into some temping agencies and do some temp or something for a bit, but ugh. Iunno. If worse comes to worse I might have to call sportchek up and try to get some hours there, but I don't know if they'll give me hours. They may because I can work as a full-time staff until september, and they have to give their full-timers 40 hours, but they may not because they might figure they have enough full-time and put me on as part-time, so Iunno. I figure though, that if I go back to doing stock, like I was, I probably won't get full-time, so I might do cross-training in cash and do full-time there. But, I don't want to do that unless I absolutely have to because I still pissed at them for jerking me around like they did, and I'm not doing it without a raise. I didn't work there for two and a half years to get paid less than what the new employees are getting, especially since I'm one of the few who actually does their job. So, whatever. My brother's friend, who I've known for a long time was being interviewed for the position of the store manager, which makes me wonder what happened to David (according to Tina, he's still there), but I haven't heard anything else about it, but if he gets the job then I'll definitely be able to get hours and a raise. Otherwise, we'll see.

On another note, my nephew is going to come and live with us to help himself get clean. I don't know how I feel about that. I think the last time I saw him was before Grandpa John died, which was about...I think 2002, so about seven years ago, so about eight since I've seen him, and he's kind of become a stranger to me. We used to be close because we're about the same age. He's 18, so he's a year younger, but my step sister and him and his sister live out in Vancouver, so we only see him when he comes over, which as I said, has been a while. But anyways, I started talking to him on facebook and stuff a few months ago, and that's when I found out he's been in drugs and stuff and apparently in the last couple of months it got really bad, so he's trying to get clean. I think he's clean right now, but he needs some help, and I guess he needs to be away from his family, so he wants to come out here and get treatment, get a job, get his highschool and then maybe get his own place, which is good, but the only problem is if he relapses. We've already warned him that if he does drugs, he's gone, but iunno, I'm worried about what might happen to him. I don't really have a lot of experience with drugs firsthand, well I do and I don't.

I've never been into drugs, and I never plan on it. I tried pot once and swore never again, so that's it for my drug experience. I don't like not being in control of myself, I won't even get drunk. But anyways, during junior high I knew a lot of kids who did drugs and was friends with a few of them, and ALL my ex-boyfriends are druggies, not necessarily at the time I was dating them, but I used to maintain relationships as friends with them after we broke up, and at the start of highschool I hung out with all the druggie kids because I didn't know anybody else, I knew them because two of them were my ex-boyfriends and friends I had made through them. Surprisingly, a lot of my friends from that time in my life were druggies, I somehow just attract them. But then after I met my other friends who weren't into drugs, I stopped hanging out with them and decided that I didn't want to really associate myself with those kinds of people. Not out of fear for myself and getting addicted, because like I said, I swore never again, but more out of I didn't want to deal with these people and self-destructive behaviour because I probably couldn't of handled it. But it wasn't like one of those 'don't talk to me' kinds of things, because I cannot bring myself to forcefully terminate a relationship. Even if someone's done wrong to me, if they try to make it better, I'll probably forgive them, but it was just I didn't hang out with them anymore, but I still talked to them, they still talked to me, but it was more as acquaintences. But anyways, I don't know how to act in this type of situation. As long as he's clean, I guess the best thing is to be normal about it. Keep him healthy and out of trouble, find him some work to keep him occupied, no late nights. I'm wondering if I should introduce him to some of my friends so he can socialize with people. My friends are good people, they don't do drugs and get themselves into trouble, so maybe that type of environment would be good for him as well. So that way, he'd have people to talk to and hang out with and won't be tempted to find some unsavoury types. Iunno, but probably not right away, maybe a bit later when his life is a little bit back on track.

I don't know. I'm just worried about it and worried about this whole scenario. But as long as he wants to get clean and stay clean, then that's the first step and I guess all we can do is be there as his support. Blah.

And alas, yet another crappy birthday comes and passes. Yaaay! I'm old! I was hoping nine months of begging for a tablet would grant me one for my birthday, but it looks like I must expense it myself. -frowny face- Oh well. Birthdays are over-rated. The only good thing about it is now I can offically drink in every province and territory of this country, yay! Except, it's not like it really matters because I live in Alberta, and the drinking age is 18 (it's 19 everywhere else except Quebec, and..uh...maybe Saskatchewan), and I rarely ever leave the province (or the city, for that matter).

I think once you turn 18, you just stop caring. Or, unless you live in the states, maybe when you turn 21 you stop caring. Yay! Oh well, I'll just continue grumbling about how I am an old lady and such.

So, I said I was going to start posting alerts when I put something up on dA, like I do when I update on ff.net. I haven't done it with the last couple, but I figured I might as well do it with this one, seeing as I am drawing more than I'm writing. This is mainly because I am indecisive in my writing, and I don't have to make so many decisions while I'm drawing.

Anyways... Pharaun Mizzrym

Forgive the craptastic quality, my scanner hates me. I used Kamijo from Versailles as a reference because I liked the overall badassery-ness of the pose, so I borrowed it and altered it a little (mainly his hand, because Kamijo's index finger was curved inwards, and I straightened it because I wanted to make it look like he was ready to smoke some n00b with a fireball). I would have drawn the fireball, buuuut I'm lazy and made of fail.

Anyways, enjoy. I actually like how it turned out (at least the version in my sketchbook, not particularly the scanned format). XP

Because Castiel/Misha Collins is a sexy beast and I feel like it.

And also because I like to obsess and I don't really have anywhere else to post them.

So, episode 4x20 currently aired (and it was awesome, by the way). At first, I was a little wary from seeing the previews and stuff because I thought it was kind of strange the way they were introducing Castiel's vessel (and I was hoping for something a bit more angsty), but after seeing the episode, I guess it worked out okay, although more Jimmy angst would have been nice. I definitely didn't like how Castiel was all like "I take orders from heaven." at the end, but part of my theory is kind of based on this, which I shall get toooo...now.

First of all, I don't trust the angels, or Ruby. When Uriel appeared, I got a really weird vibe from him and I figured he was probably going to betray Castiel and the brothers in some way, and of course he did. Now, I get the *exact* same vibe from Zachariah. I don't trust him at all. And the fact that he told Chuck not to warn the brothers about what he saw also added to this. Personally, I think some of Castiel's superiors are planning on raising Lucifer, and somehow I think Sam is going to fall into all this (I haven't quite decided how yet), and there might also be some kind of coup d'etat against God, although, it doesn't seem like He has any control anyways.

But anyways, when Castiel first appeared in the episode, he was obviously frightened and distressed and told Dean that he needed to tell him something, but it had to be in private (and not in his head). I think that Castiel found out what the angels were possibly planning and was trying to warn the brothers, and the reason why he couldn't warn him in his head, was I guess because the angels would overhear it. I think Chuck also saw the same thing in his dreams, and Zachariah, of course, probably being behind it, didn't want the brothers to know about it. I think the angels found out what Castiel knew and that he planned on warning the brothers, so they attacked him while he was waiting for Dean and dragged him back to heaven in order to prevent him from well, warning them. I'm not really sure what Jimmy's purpose of being there was other than I guess to give us some insight into who Castiel's vessel is/was, and to give us some Misha eye candy while Castiel was...indisposed.

I think that while Castiel was forced back to heaven, he might have been brain-washed or something, which might explain why he acted so cold to Dean when he returned to his vessel, and why he no longer felt the urge to tell him what he so desperately needed to tell him before, and also maybe why Anna seemed to worried. Also, he could have been very painfully reprimanded due to his whole sneaky "I'm not going to help you but I am going to help you, but I'm going to be very sneaky about it and mention how badass arch angels are", cos I'm pretty sure that pissed off the angels. This also kind of makes me suspect the angels and Sam's role in all this, because I think they wanted Sam to hook-up with Lillith, either for something very badass, or because they want the brothers to die. I'm not quite sure about that either, because I'm not sure why they would raise Dean if they were going to kill him, and I'm pretty sure the first seal would have been broken the moment he tortured another soul, not when he was raised from hell. But anyways, due to Castiel telling Dean about the arch angel, and thus throwing off Chuck's prediction, this threw off the angels plans and thus very seriously pissed them off enough for them to drag him back and inflict some very harsh holy angelic pain on him.

I imagine Castiel wasn't feeling particularly pleasant after that. I have to say though, I think Sam is going to be the one to break the last seal. I'm thinking unintentionally, but I'm not quite sure. I think Ruby is trying to make him break the last seal though. I also think that Lillith might be the last seal. She mentioned how she wasn't going to survive it, which is why she wanted to stop it and I think Sam killing her would break it, which would also explain why Ruby is trying so hard to make him strong enough to kill her. But that also has some flaws to it, because...there's like 666 seals, aren't there? And they only have to break 66...so it seems like an awful lot of effort for her to go through to get him to kill Lillith, if they can just break another seal instead, unless it's like the first seal (Dean spilling blood in hell), where in order for this whole thing to start, it had to start with Dean, so maybe it has to end with one particular seal? I'm not sure. It would make sense if that's the case.

I also don't get the whole 666 seals, but you only need 66 to free Lucifer thing. You'd think if they really wanted to keep this guy in hell, they wouldn't make it so easy to break him out. I mean, 66 is not even half of the seals, I don't even think it's an eighth of them (I'm not sure, I'm lousy at math), and not even that, they don't even have to be in any particular order (except for the first one). If anything, having that many seals with only a so few having to actually be broken, I'd imagine it make it harder for the angels to defend them, rather for the demons to break them. But...okay.

There was a rumour going around that Lillith was planning on using Jimmy's daughter as a vessel, but after seeing the episode, I don't think that's the case. She didn't seem to have any particular relevence to the episode. Castiel was planning on using her as a vessel, but Jimmy wouldn't let him (to the relief of the fangirls, I'm sure), but I don't think Lillith has any interest in her. Especially after the demons were going to kill her anyways. But anyways, back to Castiel. Even though he's back to his "I'm a soldier of heaven and I don't take orders from you" mode, I don't think he'll turn on the brothers, or Dean at least. I think that if the angels make their move against Dean, he'll probably stand against them. And I'm pretty sure the angels who are acting against him are not ordained by God, and Castiel being the ever-lovable-and-loyal sod that he is, will of course, defend him.

I also think that the end of the season will see Lucifer being freed, with the fifth season basically some kind of desperate battle between well, I'm not quite sure who it will be between...because like I said, those angels are pretty etchy. Dean and Castiel and God, I guess, will definitely be on one side, along with the angels who are loyal to god, and probably Anna (even though I don't like her), against Lucifer, the demons, the not-so-good-angels, aaaand possibly Sam.

I'm not sure though, I don't think there will actually be a Lucifer, or not a major one. I think that "Lucifer" will either go into Sam's body, not quite like possess him, it'll still be Sam, but he'll be Lucifer, I guess (if that makes any sense. It's late, and I'm not feeling particular coherent, at the moment). Or, Sam and Lucifer might fight and Sam maybe overwhelms him and becomes super badass. I haven't really decided on that either. Either way, I think Zachariah is up to no good and he'll be a big part of the evil bad assery that is brewing.

Iunno, it's an awful lot of speculation. Only two more episodes, though! And then I have to wait for the next season. -cue frowny face- At least I know Castiel is going to be in the last two episodes. ^o^ And with that I can go to bed a happy fan girl. Good night!

Like, seeeeeeeeriously. I thought we were done with all the snow crap. It snowed the entire week before and then last week it was sooooo nice, and now it's fricken snowing again. Ugh. Oh well, at least it's warm enough that it's that wet kind rainish snow, so it's melting rather than piling up in THREE FEET PILES LIKE WE HAD BEFORE! -weeps- I wish it would rain, but the rainy season here doesn't even start until about June, and even then it fricken snows or pelts you with hail stones the size of golf balls. And I live in the southern part of Canada, I'd hate to be in Iqaluit.

Ugh, on a slightly less bitchy note, but still pretty bitchy, I'm STILL not done that project and I STILL don't know if I'm doing it right, although I've managed to bullshit my way through about 5 pages (eight double spaced), except the bad side is that I'm still not even halfway done it and it's due in about five hours. -.-;; So, I've been sitting in arts building since about 9 trying to work on it and so far I've only written a page. Right now, as you can undoubtedly tell, I am procrastinating. Yaaaaaaaaaay! Also, I made the mistake of drinking an ice cap at like...uh, seven o clock in the evening last night so I wasn't actually able to fall asleep until, like, 5:30 in the morning. I'm actually surprised I slept at all, I was about ready to just get up and attempt to do my project and then I guess that's when I finally fell asleep. Typical -.-; So, right now I'm rocking off an hour of sleep and I've fixed myself up with an extra large french vanilla from Timmy Ho's (ah, the pride and joy of Canada), so I'm slightly awake, but not really. I'm also feeling the beginnings of a headache and a severe stomach ache (me and coffee never got along well). Ah well, I'm just glad this is the last day of classes and that this is my last freaking project, and hopefully I'll be able to study enough for my exams. I think the only thing that's keeping me surviving is the reminder that I only have to suffer through two more weeks, and the only thing that's keeping me (somewhat) on track to finish this project is the reminder that it's worth 25% of my final grade for that course. >.< Linguistics, you can suck my non-existant balls.

In all honesty, I'd rather study for exams than write papers because at least then I don't have to fricken write stuff. I hate papers with a severe passion, especially ones on the analysis of language.

Ugh, anyways, it's 11 now, so I should probably get back to work, the faster I get this mofo done, the faster I can stop thinking about it. >.

So, I've determined there are two things in this world that I hate more than anything: ethnography and lingustic anthropology...it consumes my soul. Ethnography, for one, has completely ruined my view on cultural anthropology. I vow to never, ever write an ethnography...except I still need to take that goddamn "methods of ethnography" class to graduate, yaaaaaay. -.-;; An linguistic anthropology, -shudders- I have to write a twelve paged analysis of a conversation (by Tuesday, haven't started), either an actual conversation analysis, and ethnographic analysis or a sociolinguistic analysis, and of course, my prof expects an intro class to know how to do this with his stupid ass vague, completely out of context notes. Yeah, no freaking way. I was looking at it and was like "I could write like...three pages, tops." Ugh. I kidnapped Shay and Joe and made them talk for an hour while I recorded it but I think I might have to convince my dad and step mom to fake a formal interview with me, and then I'll compare and contrast them or something, and just describe how people talk and stuff, and their paralanguage, and their standardization of language in their respective settings, I might be able to get some more pagage out of that. Maybe not.

I think it's retard though, because this is due by tuesday and I haven't had *any* time to study...and I totally have a PHIL final on that same friday, plus the other four of my exams consecutively the week after. I need to read two ethnographies (I hate you, history of ethnography, kthxdie), plus my PHIL book to figure out what the arguments are that I need to talk about (I hate PHIL, too). Plus, I need to study my random grade eight science shit. Seriously, that class is random, we're learning about volcanoes and energy and natural disasters, which I did definitely learn about in grade 8. O.o;; And then the rest of my stuff. I'm just glad, though, that I have two more weeks and then I am FREAKING DONE! I haven't been able to breathe since february.

I also need to find time to go visit my mother and my brother, I haven't been over there since...Iunno...early March, maybe. I'm trying to avoid it until after tax time so she'll stop bothering me about my taxes. MYTAXES,GOWAY! >.< Uhh..yeah.

On a less bitchier note, I am waaaaaaaay too obsessed with Misha Collins. He is too fricken gorgeous for his own good. I have constant dreams about Castiel, it's freaky. I told my friend I was going to hunt him down and make him my love slave. But seriously, I'm so glad he's going to be a main character in season 5. -excitement- I will be glued to my TV every thursday. On that note, I need to buy season one and season two of Supernatural. I used to watch it when the series first came out and then I just stopped and didn't watch it for two seasons, although I own season 3, but I've only seen the last bit of it at the moment. I've only watched most of season 4 because of Castiel (seriously, FUCKING HAWT!) I even have a folder dedicated to him, I don't even have that for Johnny Depp! :O

Anyways, I'm going to sleep, try to get up at a decently early time, demand my parents fake a conversation, hermit myself for a few hours, eat a nice Easter dinner and grasshopper pie (mmm, yummeh!), and then hermit myself for a few more hours, and hope that my ZOMGYOURPROJECTISDUEINTWODAYS stress-out efficiency will kick in. If I really need to I can always skip my *one* class on Tuesday and work on it, as long as it's in by four on tuesday, but I hope it doesn't come to that. I think that's retarded, by the way, I have MWF classes and TR classes (the R is for Thursday), and my MWF classes finished on the 8th, which was Wednesday, and then there's Good friday (so that was a holiday) and easter monday, but instead of ending my TR classes on the Thursday, I get a five day weekend and then have to come back on tuesday for one day. O.o? Not like it matters though, it's one class that I probably don't even need to go to, because I get nothing from the lectures anyways that I can't read in the text book.

Oh, right, sleep! Oh, but before that, I think I've finally decided what to do on my FFIV drabbles (yes, I plan to get some churned out). I think for the one I'm working on, I'm going to scrap it and split the idea into two drabbles, because after thinking about it, I really want it to be drabbles, not one-shots, because I write enough one-shots and this is supposed to be a challenge. So, yeah. I think I've figured out a vague idea of what I'm going to do, but you'll have to wait either until after the 24th, or when I decided to take some time to procrastinate. We'll see.

So, I'm totally screwed. I still have four projects due like soon...and yeah, I just don't care anymore. I was supposed to finish a thing on wave power and send it to my partner tonight, but that didn't happen so I guess I'll skip some classes tomorrow and try to finish it and e-mail them off so my group doesn't kill me. I had a goal to finish three of my projects by this sunday, but I highly doubt that's going to happen.

Anyways, I'm going to be quick because it's already 1 and I have to get up in about six hours.

So allow me my FR nerdiness...I finally managed to find some information on the plotline for The Ghost King, and I have to say I am very excited. The release date is Oct. 6, I think, or sometime around there because I saw The Pirate King a week earlier than its proposed date, but w/e. Anyways, so apparently the storyline is supposed to take place around the spellplague, either after or leading up to. I'm not really sure, according to what I read it seems to suggest afterwards which would mean there's about a 15 year time gap between the current storyline and then, but then I was trolling on some forums and people seem to think that it may lead up to it, so who knows? X3 I'm hoping Cattie-Brie will have finally bitten the dust, or gotten pretty close to it. If the storyline does take place around fifteen years later then that would make her like, what um...how old is she now...fourties? So she'd be late 50's, early 60s. Since this is a medieval type setting I'm hoping that'll mean she's past her due date. Thank god!

I'm a little worried about this spellplague setting though. I've read a bit on it and a lot of crazy shit happens, and I mean CRAZY SHIT! Worlds get swapped, oceans drain into the underdark, the pantheon I think pretty much gets obliterated. -whistles- Intense. But yeah, I haven't managed to get my hands on 4e (I don't even know where people find this shit) but from what I've read a lot of people don't really seem to like it, so I'm not sure what to think.

Iunno. My hopes for it is that Cattie-brie is hopefully very much dead, and hopedfully Drizzt is not suffering too grieviously. Emo!Wulfgar was bad enough and I had to deal with emo!Entreri, I can't deal with emo!Drizzt, nor do I want to. Oh! Also, apparently there is a re-emergence of Crenshinibon, you know, that demonic crystal that's been plaguing the series since the beginning, you know, the one that got smoked into molten...stuff by a dragon (along with Rai-guy), you know, yeah, that one. It's back apparently. I think RAS's kind of already overplayed that card though, I mean...The Crystal Shard, Passage to Dawn, The Silent Blade, Servant of the Shard...<.< Can we let the demonic crystal die, maybe? Please? Anyways, so there's that and apparently Drizzt teams up with Cadderly to try to thwart this thing (again). I'm hoping there will be an awesome apperance by Entreri, you have nooooo idea how badly I want him to be in this book, I'm going to go nuts. He needs to start kicking some ass. I'm praying there's no offspring of any kind; Drizzt/Cattie-brie wise and especially not Entreri/Dwavhel wise...-shudders- I imagine little tiny versions of Entreri bouncing around and it scares me shitless. Dwavhel should hook up with Regis maybe...I don't care, as long as there is not halfling sex for Entreri.

Anyways, I'm hoping it will be a lot better than The Pirate King, cos I have to say, that was a pretty brutal read and hopefully less random, and this time if Jarlaxle and Kimmuriel do make apperances, hopefully they will be for valid reasons instead of "O hai gaiz, thot weed drop bai." O.o An apperance by Hralien would be nice, too. I like him (mainly cos he's an elf) and I know he survives for at least another 100 years so that doesn't make me fear for this life by him being in the storyline. It always makes me nervous when Kimmuriel is in the books because I feel like he's going to die and he is probably one of my favourites next to Drizzt (mainly because he's sexy AND a psionicist). I know Jarlaxle isn't going to die, because c'mon, he's fricken Jarlaxle. Kimmuriel on the other hand I'm not so sure about and he's had a few close calls and considering how Jarlaxle's lieutenents have unfortunate fates I'm suprised he's survived thus far. Hopefully he'll remain alive for my enjoyment. Although my favourite characters seem to die off in series that RAS is connected to...-worried-

Anyways, I need to sleep because I need to be able to form coherent sentences together tomorrow so I can write irrelevent crap about wave power! Yay! You never know, anthropology might require me to have knowledge about how wave power works someday. -.-;

OMFG I NEED A BREEAAAAAK! UNIVERSITY CONSUMES MY LIFE/SOUL/BRAINZZOMG! -pulls out hair-

I should probably be doing the less stressful thing of actually reading the two books I need to have finished by MONDAY (yeah...good luck with that), instead of sitting here, procrastinating, and stressing out. I came on to write some shit that I have to detailing my financial situation and why I should get a scholarship, but I'm too lazy...except the deadline is tomorrow...I'm tempted to write "because I'm poor, school is horrendously expensive, I technically don't have a job, and hey, I like monies. So gimme!" Somehow, I don't think that would quite cut it. I have to write another one detailing my dreams and aspirations. Uhh...to be obscenely rich, and live somewhere exotic and sit on beaches drinking malibu? Sounds good. I have no idea. I'm doing anthropology because it's interesting but I'm even too lazy to keep an interest in that. Maybe I'll go study asian culture, hang out in Japan, or something.

Um..anyways. I tend to draw more than I write, so I think I'll start posting announcements on here when I post something on deviantArt, kind of like I do here with my fanfictions. I'll have an announcement next week, when I actually have time to scan a picture in that I did during reading week. I'm working on a few works of fiction for fictionpress (well, I was during the early part of reading week) I haven't even had time to breathe for the last week and a half, I had to study copiously for a math exam on tuesday, which I did surprisingly well on, and I had three midterms on friday. ToT I have the last one on monday, but I need to finish fucking Argonauts of the Western Pacific, which is consuming my life, because Malinowski is EXTREMELY hard to read, and I need to read The Nuer. ugh. And because of the way their written, it's hard for me to remember what I'm reading, so basically, I'm screwed for the exam. I also have to write a project on them, which I had to get two extensions on. It's not fun, but I'm hoping after tuesday I can relax, and then maybe read my political science books (that I finally found both of) and start on that project. I figure since I have five final projects due near the beginning of April, I should try to finish what I can of them during March, especially since my linguistic anthropology one looks like it could be very time-consuming.

Anyways, I should read stuff. Um..so yeah, next week, or whenever, I'll start to work some more on my original fiction stuff. I also have a few ideas for some FFIV oneshots, and I'll try to get drabble out for my series. It's not cooperating and I haven't really had the time to make it, and I'm not really sure what I should do with it. I might actually skip it, and work on some of the others ones and maybe post it later. Also, expect a few drawings. I really want to draw a picture of The Narrator from Fight Club, because Edward Norton is fucking awesome.

I need to change the layout of my livejournal, I hate the way it looks. I want to some really fancy html shit for it, but I'm lazy, and I don't really even remember anything from that class (although, I could probably google it).

OKAY, I'M READING! GOODBYE!

Yay reading week! I told myself I was going to study my ass off and finish a project (seeing as I have four mid-terms next week and a project due), but so far...well, y'know. I'm lazy. I've been trying to write, but I've determined that I can't write worth shit, and that stupid final fantasy drabble I've been working on since June of last year won't friiiicken end. -.-;;

It's supposed to be like, 500 words. It's almost at the 2000 word mark, methinks. So I was like 'okay...I'll scrap part of it, and end it' but I don't really know what to scrap and what to keep. Ugh. Stupid Kain. Just kidding, I love him. I hope they make a remake that isn't crap like the DS one. ToT I want sexy CGI Kain who doesn't sound like he's been smoking charcoal! -wails-

So, I've determined that I definitely need to quit my job. I know that I keep saying that, but this time I think I'm nto going back. They've decided to give almost everyone NO hours until like April, and I was like 'well, fuck that.' cos I'm trying to get a full-time job with the Red Cross in April, cos I sure as hell can't pay for my school with the hours and what they're giving me at Sportchek. So I told Ang that I might come back in September, but I really don't like I will. They've pissed me off too much, and they got new management, and they're all incompentent. I mean, Ang, the lady they hired for clothing didn't even do her training until about a week ago, and she's been there since November. I did my training the first day they hired me. And then they fired the footwear and sale associate managers for something dumb. They pissed me off at christmas because they threw me on the sales floor (and there is a reason why Paulo took me *off* the sales floor) and I almost had a nervous breakdown, lol, so I told them to put me back on stock. And it was dumb because they told me that they wanted me on the floor because they had stock "covered" which was funny because they ended up having me work in the back anyways because they were behind. But, now I'm not getting any hours or anything, so I don't think I'm going to go back in the fall, unless of course, they decide to give me a $5 raise. Which is extremely unlikely. -sigh- I miss Paulo and Jim.

I'm hoping they'll open that Barnes and Nobles in Southcentre soon and then I can apply there, I think maybe I'll apply at the Chapters for christmas. I'd love to get book discounts lol, not like I have the room for them though. I need to buy another book shelf. Hopefully I'll have time to read too. I haven't read a book (with the exception of pouring over text books) in like, a month and usually I go through about five in that time. Although, I'm trying to read a book Mara lent me. It's called "Luck in the Shadows" and it's the first book of the Nightrunner series, and it's interesting, and the two main characters (who are guys) get together later in the series. It's interesting, except there's too much talking. They'll be like, travelling or something and Alec will be all like 'tell me a story' and then Seregil will prattle on about the history of their world or something and then they'll do a scene change, and then they'll be travelling or something again and Alec will be like 'tell me a story' and, well, it keeps going on like that. And I'm all like 'STOP TAAAAALKING!! GO DO STUFF!" ToT And the way the author writes makes it totally obvious they're going to get together. But, it's not bad. I've read worse, lol.


Speeeeeaking of pairings. I think Cattie-brie needs to die a horrible, horrible death, and preferably soon.

(Oh, lol. SPOILERS btw if you haven't read The Sellsword series, or The Hunter's Blades trilogy, or The Pirate King...or The Legacy)

You don't understand how much I hate her and Drizzt together, IT MAKES ME ILL!! ToT I weep everytime I read them in the same sentence. I think the only good thing about The Pirate King was that she was only in it for like, the first two chapters, and then I didn't have to deal with her for the rest of the book (thank God, I might have clawed my eyes out). Ugh, the series was so much cooler when Drizzt was a naive virgin. I still think him and Entreri have unresolved sexual tension. He probably just decided to hook up with Cattie-brie was Entreri disappeared. Which PISSES ME OFF BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME AND HE NEEDS TO BE THERE PWNING THE N00BS (like Cattie-brie)!!! And then they should have an epic battle and have hot monkey secks. That would make my life. I'm also kind of annoyed at the way Enteri left too. "Artemis Enteri is dead. He died in the Protector's House, chasing ghosts." A beautiful line, but dreadfully emo. : < And then he takes off towards Calimport (and towards a certain female halfling) in the proverbial sunset. And Jarlaxle's all like '...hey dwarf, put on this hat.' >.<;; I really hope he doesn't end up with Dwhavel...because that would be extremely awkward. I had a hard enough time trying to get through the sex scenes with Calihye. Although, it did seem to prove my theory that Entreri's so angry because he needs to get laid. Maybe Drizzt should throw Cattie-brie out of a window. That made my life so much. "You'll never hurt me." -tosses out window-. <333 Don't fuck with Artemis Entreri.

I didn't like the way Road of the Patriarch ended. I actually didn't really even like Promise of the Witch King. I think the only good book of the Sellsword series was Servant of the Shard. The other two just got too random for me. I mean, c'mon, Entreri gets in shit because his mouth pisses people off, so a whole guild is trying to kill him (again, The Silent Blade, anyone?) so him and Jarlaxle decide to run off (well, Jarlaxle decides) so they go over to Zhenyi's Keep, and Jarlaxle's like 'hai guyz, let's start a kingdom' and Entreri's like 'um...whatever' somewhere in there Calihye tried to kill him, and he throws her out a window. And Kimmuriel takes her to Menzoberranzan or something, though I have no idea what the point of that was. Maybe when R.A. Salvatore realizes that he has a lot of LOOSE ENDS TO TIE UP, we'll find out. <.< I love you, but that was a hint. Um...so anyways, Jarlaxle names Entreri the king, and at this point I was laughing my ass off cos King Artemis the First of Castle D'earthe. Mon dieu. And then so the actual king of the land gets pissed off because, well, if two guys randomly decided to start a kingdom on your territory wouldn't you be a little pissed? So he goes and marches against them, and then Jarlaxle is all like 'teehee, let's run away.' and Entreri was like 'fuck that.' ...and, it hurts to even recount it. It was not that good. The only think I liked was Entreri's flashbacks as a kid. I've been trying to find The Third Level, but I can't find the Realms of Infamy anthology ANYWHERE! -stresses- Ugh.

What I don't understand though was why R.A. Salvatore didn't do a direct continuation of The Orc King, I mean, The Orc King was awesome, and I realize that the war is over, but...they don't have to have some other random story thing. The other characters weren't even in it. There was Cattie-brie and Bruenor for the first two chapters, and then Deudermont for a few, and then Wulfgar (being all emo and dumb) for one, and then Deudermont again, and some random pirate dudes. Um...Jarlaxle, Athrogate and Kimmuriel for some (except, we don't know that because the mysterious shadow and MIND MAGE and the fucking rhyming dwarf are supposed to be all mysterious and not obvious) ...>.< And as much as I love Kimmuriel and savour every possible moment he's in the series, their presence was so unnecessary it's not even funny.

I mean seriously. And Hralien and Tos'un weren't even in it at all. >.< Come on, I have an elf who I know will survive for at least 100 years, and a friggen awesome drow. DON'T DENY ME OF THEM! So, basically it just had Drizzt and Regis hanging around, being all philosophical and contradicting their values, and fighting and stuff. And...iunno. I didn't really care. And Wulfgar, omfg, don't get me started. I used to like him, but then he pissed me off in The Legacy and then he 'died' and then they got him back in...Passage to Dawn and he was all angry and emo and what not (which I guess is understandable if you've been tortured by a demon and raped by a succubus for five years) but then he fucks off and becomes a bouncer and then gets run out of Luskan and becomes a hiwayman (Spine of the World was also fucked up and random. I had to force myself to read it). And then he meets Delly and marries her, and adopts Colson and then he was cool again. And then Delly and goes and gets herself killed and Wulfgar is all like "I need to go back to Icewind Dale and find me a barbarian woman." so he gives Colson back to Meralda (which kind of pissed me off, because I was looking forward to grownup!Colson) and is (when we last see him) hanging out in a cave my himself. >.<;; Ugh. Another one of the few things I think I liked about The Pirate King was that I didn't have to deal with shitloads of dwarves and orcs, because by the time I finished The Hunter's Blade trilogy and The Orc King, I was so sick of them. I mean...you have two drows, four humans, a halfing, a couple of elves, and like 20 000 FRICKEN DWARVES!! And then you have like 20 000 FRICKEN ORCS! And I was like ToT

I really hope The Ghost King is awesome, and Entreri better be in it, and there better be no halfling love. I like Dwhavel...but I don't think I can take them being together. I was actually surprised R.A. Salvatore killed of Innovidil though, I think he only did that though because there was a possibility of her and Drizzt hooking up, which I don't think I would have minded so much. I have to admit that kissing scene in I think it was...I can't really remember the seperate names of the books of that trilogy...The Two Swords, was pretty hot. Although I think it was mainly because Drizzt moaned. -drools- And as he killed her because she was an elf, because elves just don't survive in that series. Except Hralien, because we know he's still alive in a 100 years. -is still angry that Tarathiel got halved- I wonder what it would be like if he continued the series after that whole '100 years in the future' dealy. I wouldn't have to deal with Cattie-brie (gotta love the life spans of humans), and it seems like him and Hralien got really close, so I'd see more of him. And maybe Artemis Entreri will be immortal (cos no one really knows how that shade affected his body), and make an appearance, and it would be great. And lots of dramatic shit would happen.

(also spoilers for The Empyrean Oddyssey, The War of the Spider Queen series and The Lady Penitent series)

I want something to take place during the Spellplague. That takes place about 15 years after where the current LoD timeline is. According to what I've been able to find out, lots of fucked up things occur. Part of Toril and Aber switch places, and entire continents disappear, and part of the Sea of Swords drains into the Underdark, and LOTS of gods/goddesses die. w00t. And tons magic-users are driven mad because the weave collapses, oh yay fun stuff. I think the part where the weave collapses will be in the third book of the Empyrean Oddyssey, seeing as (if the confusing timeline is write) it should take places about 13-14 years after the War of the Spider Queen series, which is almost at the time of the Spellplague (although, I think that timeskip is kind of dumb, because I was looking forward to baby!Pharaun's son, which I didn't get, because you meet him as an adult because Alisza was in a stasis) Except, the whole apparent time skip in that series doesn't even make sense. I don't know if it was just in that realm or if it is also in the um 'real' realm, I guess? Iunno. But yeah, the reason why I say that is because they're planning on assassinating Mystra, and well, she's the one who controls the Weave, and according to wikipedia, the reason why the spellplague occurs is because Mystra and a whole bunch of other divine powers are destroyed. So, who knows? But it also doesn't really make sense because it says the Elisstrae (sp?) dies at the time too, and she's is killed by Halisstra in the Lady Penitent series (lol, I haven't even finished it yet), but would mean that that would also have to take place 15 years after The War of the Spider Queen series, but as far as I've read, it could have only possibly been a year, at the most.

Plus the longer this shit takes place after the War of the Spider Queen series takes away from my chances of an epic Pharaun ressurection, because god damn it, his death pissed me off, and he's too awesome to stay dead. >.< But then again, barely anyone survived that series. ToT The really pretty ones seem to die in very nasty ways. I mean Tarathiel gets fricken halved, and Pharaun gets eaten by spiders. It is nicht gut.

(END SPOILERS)

Anyways, talk about going off on a tangent. I could talk about Forgotten Realms for hours, but I won't. So, I'm going to shut up, and maybe do something useful.

Uhhh...I'm so stressed. For some god-awful reason my political science prof wants us to do a final project, which requires us reading two books...which is all well and dandy, but the only problem is, I can't find these books. ANYWHERE! So, I managed to track down one of them from the U of C, but I'm still missing the other oooone, and omfg. And I was all like 'okay, I'll order from Amazon, and it'll be here, 3-5 weeks. That'll be cool." but thing is, I don't have a credit card. So I was like 'Juuuulie, can you order this book for me, pweaaase? ilu4evurrr.' and well, I was under the impression that she did, but alas, nope. Apparently she ordered from somewhere else but I have no idea when it's coming or *if* it's coming, she doesn't know, and omfg I AM SO SCREWED IF I DON'T GET IT! -stresses out- O.o;; Not only that, I'm taking a math GNED, and well...we all know how well I fail at math, soooo...that's going to bring down my GPA my a shitload...which sucks, because it's actually good...and I need it to be high to apply for scholarships seeing as since I'm a cacausian female, and therefore not a minority, I don't have a lot to choose from. >.<

Yaaaay! Anyways, shutting up. I'm goooing to finish the Havemercy review...if I can actually remember what happened.

SPOILERS OF SPOILER-Y DOOM AHEAD!

So my predictions weeeere:
1. Dragon Corps end up taking out the city, a few members die. Maybe Adamo, Rook definitely survives (cos he's Rook, duh)
2. Rook goes back to Thremedon and starts a tenative relationship with Thom
3. Royston gets better, Hal is overjoyed. Ensuement of the hawt gay secks
4. The Ke-Han will surrender, sign a peace agreement
5. Someone will tell the Esar to go fuck himself
6. Everyone will ride off into the proverbial sunset, and ensue party-time!

What actually happened (and for the record, I did pretty good):
1. Dragon Corps fricken kamikaze into the Wizard's toward and take them out. I was a little surprised with the casualities though. See, I was expecting 3 or 4 to die...it kind of went vise-versa and only Rook, Adamo, Balfour...someone else...the name escapes me at the moment survived. So I was like 'hoooly'. I was depressed about Balfour, cos I liked him and he lost his hands. : < All the dragons were destroyed, including Havemercy. Rook was captured and tortured for a while, but he was rescued during peace negotiations (by Royston? LAWL!)
2. Rook goes back to Thremedon and starts a tentative relationship with Thom...yeah. It was funny though because it made it seem like he was going to leave and Thom was all stressing out, and then Rook was all like "Fuck, ya comin' or not?"
3. Royston gets better, Hal is overjoyed. I'm pretty sure gay secks ensued, but it wasn't written.
4. Ke-Han surrendered. Peace negotiations.
5. Unfortunately no one told the Esar to go fuck himself. I was dissappointed.
6. I was surprised by this too. They didn't have a partay because they thought it would piss off the Ke-Han if they celebrated too much, but they put up statues of the Dragon Corps guys.

And during the entire book Rook and Royston met once. It was funny, cos it was after Rook was released from torture so he's all bloody and weak and what not, but that doesn't stop him from insulting Royston the first time he sees him. It was great, first words out of his mouth: "Yer the Mary Margrave, aren't ya?" Epic. He's such a rude little fucker, I love him.

So yeah, ending was pretty predictable. Apparently their making a sequel. I'm not sure how that's going to work seeing as they pretty much destroyed each other, but okay. We'll see. X3

So, my mom's doing okay. They had to do a colostomy on her because apparently she ruptured something up there. She's attached to a bag right now, but they're pretty confident that once the infection clears up (in six months or so), that they can go back and reverse the surgery. So, that's good.

I'm just glad that the majority of it is done with. Although my mother seems to think she's invincible, so she's already driving around and doing stuff, and trying to work and talking about going back to work and I just wish she would relax. I mean, she got out of the hospital on, like what...? the fourteenth, and the day after she's like 'oh, I have to drive downtown for a hair appointment.' Vanity obviously takes precedence over health, right? I wasn't too impressed with her. Well, somethings never change.

This may sound horrible, but I kind of liked it better when she was in the hospital because I felt like I could spend time with her and actually talk to her as a mother (a role that I have to admit she's been rather lacking in for the majority of my life), and have her act as, well...a mother. I mean we actually *talked*, and she made it seem like hey, maybe we can actually be a family. And of course, in my moment of selfishness, I was thinking maybe she'll remember that she does have kids, and her work and her fiance aren't the only important aspects in her life. But, of course, she got discharged and things are back to usual. "Oh, you exist?" On the plus side, at least she quit smoking. Yay?

I've learned something from this experience though. I realized how much I really dislike her fiance. I mean he's nice, but profoundly stupid and annoying, and having to be over there for longer spans on time to help and, having to suffer through his bickering fights with my nana, I realized just how annoying and stupid he really is. I mean, after partially living with him for six years, I can't believe how much he actually just pisses me off. It's amazing. I think the next time I hear "I make so much a year and yadda yadda yadda", I'll punch him in the face. And I'm sorry, living with him is like taking care of an infant. The man has no idea how to cook or clean for himself.

I don't know, I'm just so annoyed at everything right now. Just with school, and people constantly jerking me around. Like school fees. Mom says "oh, well I have this education grant from the government [that can only be used for post-secondary], don't worry about it." and then "Oh, there's not much in there." and some other bullshit, and yadda yadda yadda, and then since I went through so much bullshit trying to get my fees paid for the fall semester, that I didn't even bother to ask her for money for my winter semester and then so out of the blue she's asking me about my school fees (and I'm a month into my winter semester, fees were due a month before it started), so of course I told her it was taken care of, and then she's all like "well I have all this set aside, and yadda yadda." and I was like "well, I was under the impression there 'wasn't alot'" "Ohh, who said that?" -.-;; and of course you try to figure out how much is in there, and she won't tell you. I mean, I need to know if there's enough for my post-secondary, so I can know if I need to bail myself out. I mean, I don't mind paying, but this grant can only be used for post-secondary, that's what it's there for and if you don't use it, you get taxed on it or something and you have to give so much money back to the government, so I mean, if it's there, I might as well be using it, right? But I need to know if I need to be paying. But whatever, I don't even care.

This is more like a stupid, sleep-deprived rant, so just ignore it. I don't want this journal to be personal, but lately it seems like it's turning out that way. Let's get back to its main purpose shall we?

On a less angsty note, new story has been posted. I'd html the link but I'm lazy, and chances are, if you're reading this you've come from my ff.net profile anyways, so you would have seen the story. So yes, Forgotten Realms death fic thingie. I was trying to be all meaningful and bring a message across, but I don't know how well that worked, and I don't really like how I wrote it, but whatever. I just didn't want it to be a random yaoi that doesn't make sense, like some people in the fandom do. "Oh. hey. instead of trying to kill each other like we do in every single book we're both in, let's make hot monkey love?" or "Oh, I injured you in this BATTLE TO THE DEATH, I feel bad, let's fuck." O.o;; As much as I would have loved for that to happen in the series, it's rather anti-climatic, but hey, whatever people'll read, right?

AND BTW ZOMG!! Haven't wrote yaoi in ages. I've been writing all sorts of other crap (well, maybe not all sorts because I've barely written shit all), but what I have been have been a lot different. I'm trying to 'mature myself' as an author, I suppose. Write things that actually have some meaning, Iunno. I think I'm rambling now and not really paying attention to what I'm writing, and it's like 4 am, sooooo methinks, I'ma sleep, and maybe write when I'm in a better, less sleep-deprived mood. GUT NACHT!


OH! And for the record, The Pirate King was a terrible book. I have no idea what R.A. Salvatore was thinking, but it's like he wasn't even trying. It kicks The Spine of the World's ass as the worst LoD book. No joke. I was all excited for it, and I was severely dissappointed. I only hope that The Ghost King was be a hell of a lot awesomer, and GOD DAMN IT I WANT ARTEMIS ENTRERI!!! As I've screamed to my brother several times, you don't make a character practically immortal and then have him fuck off to Calimport in a fit of (what is becoming increasingly characteristic) emo-ness to go hang out with a halfling. Just, no. So, I've been dying for an appearance by him, we'll see. I'll write a review on TPK later, and I'll also tell you how much of the ending I predicted for Havemercy (I finished it so long ago, I don't even remember). So, you can look forward to that for the next entry or so.

Lately it seems like I've been spending quite a bit of time in hospitals. First my dad was in the hospital for nearly a month because he was having chest pains (that still haven't entirely gone away) and had to get stints put in (and had a mild stroke while the doctors were doing what they were doing), and now my mom's in for surgery and I have no idea how she's doing or whether or not she's even out yet.

Ugh. I visited her earlier, and she was totally spaced out on morphene because she's in such much pain and then they brought her into surgery about half an hour after I got there (about 8:30PM)and so I eventually left and Mali told me she'd call me when she was out of surgery but it's now 1:18AM and no one's called me and I don't know if she's still in surgery or what, and I'm just so stressed out. And Phil managed to get another sepsis infection from a cut on his arm, so he's pretty much out of commission. Nana and Papa have decided to fly out, so they'll be here tomorrow, which, I mean I love them, but right now I think they'd be more of a burden than any actually help. So, we have to clean. I don't know when mom's going to be out, but I wish someone would fucking call me! I need to call into work tomorrow and tell them I can't be there, and fuck them if they have a problem with that because they've been pissing me off too much lately anyways. I hate this. I hate hospitals. I hate doctors. I hate not knowing what the fuck is going on.

I mean, it's bad enough to have to constantly worry about my dad's health and whether or not he'll be around next year, but now dealing with my mom being sick. I just can't. Ugh, I hate going on like this on my fricken livejournal, of all places, but I just need somewhere to vent. Just FUCK! Fucking pisses me off. Mali, fucking call me, god damn it!

I also hate when people try to talk to you to 'make things better' and it ends up making it worse. I had Phil rambling on about it on the way to the hospital and it sounded to me like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince me. And when you tell me 'not to worry', and then you go on about 'important' and 'vital' and 'complications'...yeah, I'm going to fucking worry. And when you tell me you're going to call me when she gets out of surgery and five hours later (after what should be a 2-3 hour surgery) I still haven't had a phone call, yeah, I get even more worried. Ugh. I hate this. >.<;;;;;;

I'm hoping they just forgot to call. Although, that will severely piss me off, but it'll be better than the alternative. -.-;

So, I bought this book at the behest of my birdy (well, actually she more or less mentioned that there was a gay pairing in it, and that was more than enough to get my attention).

<.< Ahem, anyways. So, I kidnapped Shay, and bused by arse over to Chinook, trolled around Chapters for a bit trying to actually find the book. Mac told me that one of the author's names started with an 'I', so of course I was going around looking for the I's, not that Chapters puts anything in any decent semblance of order. I just know where the manga and Forgotten Realms is and that's all I need. Anyways, turns out it didn't start with I (never trust a boy with names), but I found it all the same, sat down on the floor and randomly read some pages, stumbled upon one of the gay-kissing scenes, giggled, read some more. And then I read the inset and I was like 'HOLY SHIT, METAL DRAGONS??!?!?! SUH-WEEEEEET!!!' and all in all, it seemed pretty fucking awesome. Although I was considering whether or not I should buy it because it was only in hardcover and it was 25$ (because Chapters likes to rip people off because even though our dollar has been on par with the American dollar since Christmas, we're still paying more), and I'm cheap. But, potentional awesomeness and he promise of metal dragons eventually won out and I parted with 25$, actually 36$ because I also bought Best of the Realms, because there was Jarlaxle and Entreri awesomeness.

I suppose instead of rambling I should get on to what the book is about. I'm kind of tired to excuse-moi if I seem all over the place. So, the story has four main character, and it's in first person point of viewing, switching between the viewpoints of each character. Now, I'm fairly picky about first-persons, but if they're funny then it's okay (like Pagan's Crusade is a great first person just because Pagan has a deliciously hilarious sense of sarcasm). So you have Thom, Rook, Hal and Royston. I like Rook's P.O.V. the best because he's such an awesome foul-mouthed little shit, Thom I find kind of whiny, and Hal and Royston are just kind of hanging around doing their own thing (although their relaionship is very sweet).

Oh, btw. SPOIIIIIIIILEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS~~

Anyways, so the book 'Havemercy' is named after Rook's dragon (why? I have no clue) who is actually present very little in the story, and she seems to share in Rook's uncouth mouth. Now on the inset, it talked about the Ke-Han and Volstov. Volstov is the nation in which our four protagonists are from, and the Ke-Han are like 'greedy little fucker trying to get their hands on everything they can', basically the gist of the story is that there was a 100 years war (that's still raging) that the Volstovs inherited from the Romanthines when they conquered them. So, I was expecting awesome war sequences and dragon battles. Um...yeah, no. While there is indeed a war going on, it actually makes up very little of the story until the end. Basically what you get in Royston getting exiled for indiscretely bedding an prince of a neighbouring country at the beginning, he ends up living with his brother, the Chatelain in the country (where Hal is acting as a governess (except he's male) for the Chatelain's children), they meet, stuff happens, whiny lovely dovey, they end up in the city.

Next we move on to Rook, one of fourteen men in the Dragon Corps, Volstov's greatest weapon against the Ke-Han. Then comes Thom, student at the 'Versity who is sent in to literally teach the Dragon Corps about proper ettiquette. (Seriously.). After Rook sleeps with the diplomat's wife of the same neighbouring country with the 'Cindy Prince', slaps her ass and calls her a hapenny whore, etc. Yeeeah...

Now, when I bought the book I was under the impression that all four characters would be doing this together, not so. For the first half of the book Rook and Thom know each other, and Hal and Royston know each other, eventually Hal meets Thom (in a bathroom, because Hal is hiding from everyone and Thom is hiding from Rook X3) and then alot later he meets Rook (for like a second), but as far as I've read Rook hasn't met Royston yet despite all the shit going on (although currently on is incapacitated and one is on a kamikaze mission). If you haven't gathered I haven't quite finished the book yet, but I'm getting there.

Yeah, so eventually Royston gets called back to the war and then SOMETHING finally starts to happen, but not really, all you find out is that the Esar is trying to cover stuff up and Royston is plagued with mysterious headaches. Skip ahead another one hundred pages some serious shit starts to go wrong with the magicians and the dragons. I should explain this before I go any further.

In the book the Volstov magicians draw their power from a place called 'The Well', which is an actual physical well protected by the Brothers and Sisters of Regina, and the magicans have Talents and are more powerful depending on how pure their blood is. The dragons were made by magicians, and they have dragonsouls that the magicians poured into them, which is why the dragons can communicate.

Anyways, some serious shit starts happening, something happens to Royston and I guessed what was happening before Royston even got back to Thremedon, it was so obvious. Magicians draw their power from the well...so, the magicians start getting ill and losing their power...the dragons riders start losing control of their dragons...physical well...plague...-coughpoisoncough-. So of course, they're trying to make it seem like it's so difficult to figure out what the reason is for another one hundred pages, I'm sitting here like 'duh', and I find it funny because it took a delirious Royston to actually figure it out.

And then you flip back to Rook and Thom and I was hoping for sme gayness on their part because even though Rook acts homophobic there are some scenes where it seems like he's about to molest Thom against a wall or something. <.< It's a disease. ToT Anyways, so they're like LMAO PLOT TWIST!! I like plot twists, I'm all for them, but it is very rare when I actually see one utilized properly! A.K.A. it wasn't a very good plot twist. So...Thom had a brother who died in a fire twenty-one years ago...Rook had a brother who died in a fire twenty-one years ago...Thom's 24, Rook's 26...Thom was 3 at the time of the fire...Rook was 5...cookies if you figure it out. I died a little inside because Thom realized that Rook was his brother when Rook told him the story, but Rook didn't know because Thom didn't say anything. Where I'm at so far Thom kind of blurted it out and Rook freaked out and told him not to talk to him and flew out on a kamikaze mission.

Ugh, I can't think anymore. So anyways, where I am now there's shit actually happening. Royston is dying, Hal and them are trying to figure out a cure by reading romans of all things. 'Well, hey guys, they took a sample from our Well and made a poison, so uh, maybe a random book will have a magical cure to this NEWLY MADE DISEASE!' <.< And then Hal, in a half-asleep state thinks 'hey, maybe if we kill the magicians it'll go away' O.o;; As ridiculous as it may seem, it does kind of make sense. So, they've never actually been able to reach the Ke-Han capital without running out of fuel because the dragons can't carry that much (I don't understand why they don't just push the Ke-Han out of the mountains, collapse the tunnels and build an airbase closer to the Ke-Han capital and take them out that way. So, suddenly we switch back to Rook and all fourteen members of the Dragon Corps are flying out on a kamikaze mission to Lapis to take out the magicians...on dragons that don't heed commands, mind you. Suh-weet.

I'm going to go out on a whim and predict the ending. The Dragon Corps end up taking out the city, a couple of the members die, I think Adamo might be one of them, Rook survives, he goes back to Thremedon and starts a tenative relationship with Thom. Royston gets better, and Hal is overjoyed and they have hot gay secks. Maybe not to that extent, but they'll finally start a relationship. The Ke-Han will surrender and they'll maybe go into peace agreements, someone will tell the Esar to stuff himself (I wouldn't be surprised if it was Thom in a sudden burst of OOCness, but most likely Rook or Adamo if he survives) and everyone will ride off into the proverbial sunset. And there will be a party where everyone will finally meet. <.< I'll let you know when I finish how close I was.

So all in all, it was an okay book, the writing was good, and it was funny. Except there wasn't very good characterization, and other than two hundred pages of interactions between Thom and Rook and Hal and Royston there wasn't really a storyline. It was nothing like I thought it was going to be. Definitely not worth 25$ and Kale just totally said the line of a song I was listening to exactly when it got to that part...he seems to do that alot.

Anyways, if the book was actually what I thought it was going to be at the inset it would have been epically awesome and it might have been right up there with The Legend of Drizzt series, but alas it's not and it will have to sit there with the not so awesome books I've read. Speaking of The Legend of Drizzt, OMFG THE PIRATE KING IS COMING OUT IN OCTOBER!!!!! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!! I've been seriously suffering through withdrawl since I've read all the FR R.A. Salvatore books (except I haven't read the Cleric Quintet yet, except it's about Cadderly so it doesn't count). The Orc King was definitely awesome, so hopefully The Pirate King will be just as awesome, I was worried for a moment that the whole random '100 years later' thing in the prologue and epilogue of TOK would portend to the next book taking place in that timeline (Hence, Transitions), but Deudermont is in TPK, and he's a human so he obviously can't be around 100 years later, so I think we're safe. Although I wouldn't mind not having to deal with the whole Drizzt/Catti-brie thing (the only upside to that pairing is that she's a human and he's a drow, which means she won't live nearly as long as he will). Although I'm definitely curious about that whole angst thing Wulgar's going throug again (he seems to do that quite a bit in the serie(s) (because it's three series even though it' technically only one because it's all a continuation of each other), but as long as he doesn't randomly turn up in another town and becom a bouncer again, and then a highwayman, because, I have to say, that was definitely random. Almost as random as Jarlaxle randomly starting a kingdom and making Entreri the unwitting king. Fuck Road of the Patriarch is a random book, so is Spine of the World. >.<

Anyways. So Havemercy by Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett = not epic dragons.

ToT I want to write, but I'm so unMOTIVATED!! Why do you hate me, plot bunnies? WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY???!!? -sigh-

Fucking cold in here, stupid Calgary, and it's stupid weather.

On the good side, I'm done all my exams and everything to do with highschool, in other words...I'M FREE!!! ...Until September. : < Failz @ lyfe. But I have two months to do absolutely nothing.

On that note, I've be wait-listed on my english course, and I'm taking a Japanese course that will most definitely consume my life. (Four hours a week, plus another hour of 'lab'), and two anthropology course, because it was the only interesting thing. Apparently now I'm working towards an anthropology major, which is okay, it has all the courses I was looking for in history, so we'll see how it goes, but I also wanted to take some psychology courses, and some english courses. I'd love to be a writer, if I could actually get my ass in gear. I'm just so lazy. : <

And I really need to quit my job. They've taken everyone off comission, so they gave everyone raises, except me. I'm now making 8.87/h instead of 8.50, big whoop. I'm now officially the lowest paid employee, and I've been working there one of the longest. I'm a *little* pissed. They won't even give me the fucking hours I need. Bastards. I need to pay for university somehow.

Oh well, I'm planning on grabbing another job after I come back from where ever in August, and then figure something out when I start at MRC. I said that last year, and I'm still working there. >.< FUCK YOU FORZANI! kthxdie.

Anyways, I'm going to go play some Breathe of Fire II, and maybe *try* to spin out another drabble. In any case, I started writing one! I have like...two lines. XD We'll see.

In The Shadows

So, basically, it's a series of drabbles (it's supposed to be a series) about Kain Highwind from Final Fantasy IV, because he is a ridiculously awesome character. I have three more ideas for drabbles, so, depending on my mood, and my level of laziness, we'll see what gets posted.

Anyways, the first one is called "Envy", and it was inspired by a little clip I saw of the DS opening where Rosa and Cecil are talking and Kain is sort of lurking in the background, because he's cool like that. And basically, it's about Kain angsting out because Rosa doesn't love him. I know what you're thinking 'You, write het?!'. It's quite daunting, I have to say, but I sort of like Kain's unrequited love, even though I don't really like Rosa, and I'd rather have Kain and Cecil getting it on, but you know. ;)

I actually like it, surprisingly, despite the fact that it's het, and it's written in a tense I don't usually use, and the fact that it's brutally short.

I don't like how Final Fantasy I-VI are all jumbled together and there's no way to sort through them. >.<;; Stupid ff.net. They should have that character select thing for all the categories.

Anyways, I should probably get to bed. I have to write the first part of my social diploma tomorrow, which should be uber amounts of fun. -.-;; Wish me luck!